A Modest Proposal For the Promotion of World Democracy and Sustainable Free Trade.
Let’s face facts. Most countries in the world are simply not ready for democracy. Look at the Haitians, the Iraqis, the Spanish, the Taiwanese, the Venezuelans, etc. They couldn’t spot a democratic election if it hit them in the face. Even if they could, they would probably vote for the wrong candidate out of cowardice or religious fundamentalism.
At the same time, these foreign countries are stealing our jobs. Their communist healthcare systems give them an unfair advantage by keeping wages far below market value.
But both problems can be solved with one simple solution!
First, lets ask, which country is the most democratic country in the world? America, of course! We not only have more of it, we are better at it; hell, we invented it!
So, if we are so much more democratic than every other country, why don’t we have every other country hold their elections in America! That way, we can be sure that these elections will be free and democratic. And since only Americans will be voting in these elections, we can be sure that these countries have only the best leaders!
What about the problem of outsourcing? No problem! Considering how much money it costs to wage a political campaign in America, money from every country in the world will be pouring in! Even if some of the campaign jobs are outsourced to other countries, there will be more than enough jobs created by the flood of campaign dollars into this country.
So there you have it. By having Americans vote not just for our own president, but for the president of every country in the world, we can ensure that the world remains free while creating American jobs at the same time!
UPDATE: So far, no takers on my idea. However, there is a site devoted to the opposite solution.